What is fear?
Is it positive or negative? Is it natural or unnatural? Does it push you in the right direction or wrong direction? How can we use it to help us?
fear [ feer ]
1. feeling of anxiety: an unpleasant feeling of anxiety or apprehension caused by the presence or anticipation of danger
2. frightening thought: an idea, thought, or other entity that causes feelings of fear
3. reverence: respect or awe for somebody or something
F.E.A.R. is failure-based emotional acute reaction.
In its simplest form, it’s information…information we may not want to hear or feel, but information nonetheless. Oftentimes it evokes a fight or flight response, but the most powerful way to deal with fear is to face it. If we see fear as a friend rather than a foe, it can be helpful.
As a foe, fear criticizes us like a bully who wants to see us fail. It says things with the intent to harm like:
“You can’t do it.”
“You’re crazy.”
“Who do you think you are?”
“Yeah right.”
“Hahahaha. You’re kidding right?”
As a friend, fear coaches us like an older sibling who plays rough, but ultimately wants you to succeed—it pushes us to our full potential. It says things with the intent to help like:
“You can’t do it.”
“You’re crazy.”
“Who do you think you are?”
“Yeah right.”
“Hahahaha. You’re kidding right?”
The difference between the two is subtle. It all depends on how we choose to hear fear.
The goal is not to be fearless. Fearless (fear-less) doesn’t mean the absence of fear—it simply means having less fear than faith so that the fear doesn’t stop us from moving toward our goal(s).
[quote] “The fear certainly helps you do it better. The fear-less one might sleep better, but sleeping well doesn’t always lead to your best work. The fear can be your compass, it can set you on the right path and actually improve the quality of what you do.”[/quote] Seth Godin
Waiting for the Fear to Subside
Fear speaks loudest when we’re outgrowing our current self whom we’ve grown comfortable with. It occurs when we’re stepping into an area of uncertainty or new territory. The feeling of not knowing what is right or the outcome of our actions limits us. Fear says “Stay here. This is enough. It’s easy here.” And while those things may be true, comfort and ease won’t likely lead us to our highest potential.
It’s called our highest potential for a reason—there is something to climb and gravity is pushing down on us. But gravity is define—it’s 9.8 meters per second. In order to “spread our wings and fly,” we simply have to find purpose and motivation to combat that force. Fear wins when we settle and stop reaching up and in. There is always a higher and simultaneously deeper me ready to emerge if I’m willing to upgrade.
The deceiving thing about fear is that while is may be comfortable to stay where we are now, inevitable change will make it uncomfortable sooner than later and then the fear shifts from fear of being more to fear of being less…less comfortable, less significant, less respected.
Listen to fear like a friend who has your best interest in mind. It’s here to help you, not harm you.
(Pillow) fight the fear!
