Hey,

It’s “When Is The Day? Wednesday.” Thanks in advance for reading.

As crazy as this sounds, due to my workaholism and inner compulsion to work, work, work, it’s actually easier for me to work a 60 hour work week than it is for me to work a 15 hour work week.

I feel like I can’t stop sometimes. It always feels like there is more work to be done or something else I could be doing.

The best metaphor I can think of is that it’s easier for a New York taxi driver to drive 60 mph in a 40 mph zone than it is for them to drive 15 mph.

Why?

Because if everyone else is driving 60 mph…

• I want to fit in
• I want to keep up
• I believe everyone else must be right
• I don’t want to look stupid
• I don’t want to feel behind
• I don’t want to get passed
• I don’t want to question everyone else/li>

I think there is this running narrative in society that success requires:

• No sleep
• Divorce
• Not having kids or delaying
• Being attached to technology

There is no way that I’m going to “lean in” to that life. Maybe when I was single, but not now. I used to put work before my wife, but not anymore. Once we got married, that changed…and I’m glad it did. She is more important to me than anything in the world. I love you all, but I love her more and my work was getting in the way of our love. That was a BIG change for me since I saw my parents, who are both doctors, put work before their marriage. And that’s why it ended so quickly.

Speaking of driving and my wife, she passed her driving test this week. Don’t be shocked. She is an east coaster and moved to NY for college. With the amazing subway system here, the expensive and limited parking, street cleaning 4x per week, and lack of drive ways, having a car can be an inconvenice in NYC.

But my point is, that I was able to be there to drive her to Queens, wish her luck, give her some final tips, hug her when she passed, and then take her to lunch afterward without worrying about work.

That was new for me.

A few months ago, I would have been angry that half of a work day was wasted.

But when I saw that half of the new drivers being tested were accompanied by driving school instructors instead of family and friends, I realized how important it was for me to be there. In moments like these, there are no substitutes. Someone else’s photo of her smiling when she got out of the car couldn’t replace me being there in person.

I’ve missed too many meaningful moments like this. I’ve been good at being there for the big moments in the lives of people I love like graduations, birthdays, births, weddings, Mother’s Days, Father’s Days, and other holidays. But I noticed how many small moments I missed out on like the first time this happened or the first time that happened. Secondhand stories don’t cut it.

Upper Left: My wife pulling off on her driving test, Upper Right: Our backyard with overturned soil & new cement, Lower Left: 10 bags of junk & shredded papers, Lower Right: About to speak to 100 interns at the T. Howard Foundation

So what did I do in that 15 hours of work? I did what was most important.

• I prepared for a speaking engagement in DC this past Monday
• I prepared for a webinar I led on Sunday for a new weekly planning product I’m creating
• I followed up with all of my corporate, college, and conference clients via phone and email
• I launched BPAID and taught on Tuesday and Thursday evening

So what the heck did I do during the rest of my week?

• I managed an overhaul of our backyard which included turning over the soil, pouring cement, building a 7 x7 shed, and a picnic table
• I did some spring cleaning (even though we kind of skipped Spring in NY)
• I took Pam to her driving test (without fretting over work)
• I watched the NBA playoffs (Get ’em Lebron!)

It was a weird week and I worked less than normal, but I don’t feel behind.

Thankfully I’m learning to redefine what work means. For me, work isn’t a place we go to on Monday through Friday or something we do 40+ hours per week. Work is the process of moving another individual, organization, or item from some point A to or toward its desired point B faster, safer, and easier than it could do it on its own.

Given that, if two people have same job and one can do it in 4 hours and the other needs 40 hours, so be it. The first person shouldn’t have to literally create work just to fill up the other 36 hours of the week should they?

If our work and income was directly correlated to our results and not the amount of hours we spent at a desk, the game would change.

This week,

1. I knew what I had to do
2. I did it efficiently and effectively, and
3. I didn’t create more work just to feel busy

That’s real progress for me.

In all honesty, I don’t think there are 40 hours of work to do every week. Every week won’t be like this. My business is seasonala and summers are slower than any other time.

If you’ve ever heard of Parkinson’s Law, it says that work expands to fill space and time. So if I give you 60 minutes to take a 30 minute test, you’ll probably take 60 minutes. But if I give you 30 minutes to take the same test, you will complete it in time without a change in your results.

I think we do that often at work. I think I do it because in the past, I didn’t know what to do with myself it if my to do list for the week was all checked off.

There is a difference bewteen doing business and doing busy work. I’m learning.

I would love to know What do you do when your to do list is blank? Email me or comment here and let me know. Your comments will inspire me and others.

Thanks for listening,

Jullien