It saddens me when I hear 20, 30, 40, or even 50 year olds say “I can’t wait to retire.”

As a recovering workaholic, I’ve been guilty of it too—racing to the finish line without enjoying the journey…the fun and not-so-fun parts…the highs and the lows…the miracles and the mundane. I thought the solution to my workaholism was no work at all. I’ve come to learn that that is not true—work is one of my greatest sources of meaning and contribution.

I’m no longer inspired by people who say “I want to retire early.” They are usually the MBA-type, seeking a fast-track industry that pays a 6-figure base, but they will likely have to do something they really don’t want to do for an extended period of time before they feel like they can retire. Early retirement is their justification for “paying their dues.” If I go hard at this for 15-20 years, then I can do what I love for the next 40 years. Work hard, play hard right?

What a terrible game! I believe in working and playing daily, like when we were kids. Every day, we would go to school, do our homework, and then get to play until the street lights came on. As adults, the frequency changes from playing everyday to playing every decade. I’m going to work hard for a few decades and then play in the sandbox called retirement.

For many people, their vision of retirement is walking on the beach, holding hands, smiling with their significant other. Well guess what? We can go for a walk with our significant other this evening if we want. If we don’t take those kinds of walks now, we may never make it to that beach in the Caribbean.

The BIG question is, instead of delaying that walk…

…how can we integrate elements of our vision of retirement into our day-to-day?

The desire to retire early means that the individual has already given up on the idea of work ever having meaning or being fulfilling and they are rushing to the finish line to get it over with as quickly as possible. Work has become this huge unavoidable obstacle between them and weeklong happiness rather than just weekend happiness.

In 1958, a Gallup study of those aged 95+ found that of the 331 men interviewed, their average retirement age was 80, and 86% reported having fun doing their job.

There is a hidden tax when we don’t love what we do for a living. Our physical, mental, emotional, and psychological well being get taxed every day. But many people think that they have to do something they hate to make more money and the high pay justifies the hate. On the other end of the spectrum, there are people who don’t feel comfortable getting paid to do what they love. I think both views are wrong.

Oftentimes, when we think about the state of our life and we feel unhappy, we tend to blame our jobs. It’s the easiest target to point our finger at because that’s where we spend half of our waking hours. But the state of our lives are not our employer’s fault. We can only fault someone else when we don’t have a choice or any responsibility in what occurs. You hit my car. You broke my glasses. You lied to me. But in the context of employment, the employee always has a choice—to change jobs or change their approach.

How can two people at the same company with the exact same title, pay, and boss have completely different experiences of the same space?

They have different approaches and attitudes about their relationship to work.

Some people believe that for their specific profession, “This is how it’s always been” or “You have to pay your dues.”

But if you ask them…

Is there someone, somewhere in the world, in your industry, function, and/or company who is doing similar work and earning equal or more money as you who is also enjoying it?

The verbal answer is “Probably,” but the inner answer is “Of course.” Between “Probably” and “Of course” exists rationalizations that “They found their passion,” “Their boss is better,” “Their company culture isn’t as cut-throat as mine,” etc. All of these justifications are attempts to avoid personal responsibility for our own situation.

Adam Smith’s “invisible hand” may control the uncertain fluctuating economy, but it doesn’t control you or me. The difference between two employees in the same role in the same company is their feeling of self-worth and self-efficacy (the ability to produce a desired or intended result) when it comes to their life and how they view themselves. One person is a product of their environment. The other person is a creator of their environment.

As miserable as many people feel on Monday mornings, it doesn’t have to be that way. I want people to say T.G.I.T (Thank God It’s Today) more than T.G.I.F. (Thank God It’s Friday). I believe that this mindset will lead us to happiness now rather than happiness later.

Ask yourself…

Why do I want to retire early?

What am I really rushing to?

What am I running from?

Once I retire, then what will I do?

What do I really want beside to not have to work?

How can I design a career where I’m not rushing to retire?

It’s not money that we want. It’s what we think money will get us. You retire early and have all this time. And then what? Now you have time to do what?

Doing nothing always feels better than doing something you hate. But the idea of doing nothing sucks when you feel you have have a purpose that transcends your personal needs and even your family’s needs. Sometimes our myopic visions of “working to feed my family” make us feel smaller that we truly are. No cubicle can contain all of who you are and no corporate ladder can reach your full potential.

When we retire, we’ll have more regrets over not doing what we loved in the first place. Sometimes, our dream careers become hobbies. I wanted to play basketball professional and that didn’t work out the way I hoped it did, but I play pick-up games almost every weekday as my exercise instead.

We need to reframe or rethink the way we are doing what we’re doing to be more fulfilled right here right now. I’m not suggesting that you stay in an abusive relationship with your employer if that’s the case. No! Some employers suck. And the only way to take them out is to vote with our feet by taking our talents elsewhere.

Instead of measuring our lives in more financial freedom or more time freedom which is what retirement symbolizes, how about we measure it in more happy hours. I don’t mean the kind of happy hours that take place after work that aren’t that happy. I mean the number of hours that you are fully present and fulfilled at home, at work, with family, friends, or just yourself.

How many happy hours have you experienced in your life?

There are 30-year old millennials who have experienced more happy hours than 80-year old millionaires.

How would measuring your happiness in the number of happy hours you experience change your approach to work and life? Would you still be in a rush to retire?

Let’s retire…

…our excuses for not living now and deferring our dreams.

…the idea that having lots of money or time is the only route to happiness.

…feeling helpless and blaming our employers are bosses for our unhappiness.

…feeling helpless.

…comparing and competing against each other.

…racing to nowhere fast.

Wishing you more happy hours,