99 Things That Can Kill Your Dreams If You Let Them

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dreams

A few weeks ago, we celebrated Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s life and I talked about what it means to D.R.E.A.M. awake. D.R.E.A.M. means having one’s Desire Relationships, Employment, And Money.

So many people have dreams, but rather than their dreams coming alive, they are being killed softly.

I asked myself…

What are all of things that kill your dreams and stop people from D.R.E.A.M.ing awake?

…and this is the exhaustive list I came up with. (Feel free to add anything I missed.)

Given that my commitment is to help as many people as possible D.R.E.A.M. awake, this list was helpful. I’m guilty of quite a few of some of things on the list myself.

But now that I’m aware of what’s killing my D.R.E.A.M.s, I can start to address the ones that I can control.

If you’re having nightmares, I feel bad for you son…I got 99 problems, but my dreams aren’t one.

[olist]

Fears

  • Fear of failure
  • Fear of success
  • Fear of being yourself
  • Fear of being different/not fitting in
  • Fear of losing
  • Effort

  • Laziness. Doing as little as possible yet having high expectations.
  • Spending lots of time, energy, and money on the wrong thing
  • Doing what looks sexy instead of doing what is actually most successful
  • Procrastination
  • Perfectionism
  • Wasting time doing things you don’t want to do with people you don’t want to be with
  • Settling for good enough and less than you deserve. Being okay with average.
  • Letting learning stop after college
  • Unwillingness to be coached, taught, and held accountable
  • Waiting…

  • Waiting for someone else to value you instead of understanding your value first
  • Waiting for external circumstances (i.e. the economy) to get better
  • Waiting on superman or someone else
  • Waiting to be discovered
  • Too Much…

  • Too much idle time on the internet and social media. The only reasons to be on Facebook in the middle of the day are that you work for Facebook, you have social media marketer in your job title, you’re an entrepreneur trying to get customers.
  • Too much TV
  • Too much sleep
  • Too much privilege
  • Too much formal education
  • Too much alcohol, sex, drugs, gambling, and other things that can lead to addictions. Ignoring negative patterns and running away or sweeping stuff under the rug
  • Not…

  • Not defining success for yourself
  • Not feeding your mind (i.e. reading)
  • Not finding mentors
  • Not protecting your time and setting boundaries
  • Not saying no
  • Not taking risks
  • Not forgiving
  • Not enough stillness
  • Not enough sleep
  • Not following through and following up
  • Not burning boats and committing
  • Not letting go
  • Mistaken & Out Of Focus

  • Mistaking your wants for needs
  • Mistaking time management for energy management
  • Mistaking your paycheck as income. It’s revenues. Income is what’s left at the end of the month.
  • Mistaking buying a home with owning a home
  • Focusing on time in school vs. time on developing skills
  • Focusing on security over freedom
  • Seeking comfort over challenge
  • Focusing in the destination more than the journey
  • Eating only for taste and not energy
  • Seeking happiness instead of being it
  • Believing in luck instead of creating it
  • Relationships

  • Blaming others for who you are and where you are
  • Only valuing people “above” you (ie executives and not janitors)
  • Only reaching out when you need something
  • Only surrounding yourself with people who think just like you
  • Burning bridges
  • Replacing your dreams with your kids’ dreams instead of finding a way to do both
  • Seeking love before loving yourself
  • Unwillingness to trust others
  • Money

  • Credit card debt
  • Failing to define rich with an actual number
  • A 30-year mortgage on a single family home
  • Poor money management
  • Allowing your cost of living to rise with your income
  • Focusing on salary over cash flow
  • Relying on only one source of income
  • Too much student debt—especially from grad school without a clear way to get a return on your investment
  • Trying save your way to wealth instead of create it
  • Career

  • Getting great at something you hate
  • Not managing your employer
  • Not being willing to quit
  • Choosing a traditional career path because it “safe” and they recruited on-campus
  • Letting what you do define who you are instead of who you are defining what you do
  • Trying to be jack of all trades and thus master none
  • Being clearer about what you don’t want than what you do want
  • Backwards Thinking

  • Thinking too small
  • Only focusing on the positive
  • Only focusing on the negative
  • Caring what others think too much
  • Thinking that other people are thinking about you. They aren’t.
  • Playing the victim
  • Focusing on the past too much
  • Focusing on the future too much
  • Always wanting to be somewhere else
  • Self-Doubt

  • People pleasing. Waiting for or seeking others’ approval
  • The need for too much certainty
  • Indecisiveness
  • Trying to be someone else
  • Comparing yourself to others
  • Dumbing down for others
  • Being too concerned with what other people are doing
  • Looking for and following formulas. There are none.
  • Ego

  • Not listening to your true self, intuition, or wisdom
  • Impatience and entitlement. Wanting it to happen when you want it, how you want it.
  • Thinking you know it all. Not asking for help. Trying to do it all on your own.
  • Planning too much. Trying to control outcomes. Being controlling.
  • Seeking to take more than you give
  • Believing in the law of scarcity and that life is a zero-sum game
  • Not self evaluating. Lying to yourself and others
  • Trying to have the right answer vs. the right question
  • Trying to check off the boxes as quickly as possible
  • Not being grateful
  • Wanting everything and everyone else to change without you having to change
  • [/olist]