A few weeks ago, we celebrated Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s life and I talked about what it means to D.R.E.A.M. awake. D.R.E.A.M. means having one’s Desire Relationships, Employment, And Money.
So many people have dreams, but rather than their dreams coming alive, they are being killed softly.
I asked myself…
What are all of things that kill your dreams and stop people from D.R.E.A.M.ing awake?
…and this is the exhaustive list I came up with. (Feel free to add anything I missed.)
Given that my commitment is to help as many people as possible D.R.E.A.M. awake, this list was helpful. I’m guilty of quite a few of some of things on the list myself.
But now that I’m aware of what’s killing my D.R.E.A.M.s, I can start to address the ones that I can control.
If you’re having nightmares, I feel bad for you son…I got 99 problems, but my dreams aren’t one.
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Fears
Fear of failure
Fear of success
Fear of being yourself
Fear of being different/not fitting in
Fear of losing
Effort
Laziness. Doing as little as possible yet having high expectations.
Spending lots of time, energy, and money on the wrong thing
Doing what looks sexy instead of doing what is actually most successful
Procrastination
Perfectionism
Wasting time doing things you don’t want to do with people you don’t want to be with
Settling for good enough and less than you deserve. Being okay with average.
Letting learning stop after college
Unwillingness to be coached, taught, and held accountable
Waiting…
Waiting for someone else to value you instead of understanding your value first
Waiting for external circumstances (i.e. the economy) to get better
Waiting on superman or someone else
Waiting to be discovered
Too Much…
Too much idle time on the internet and social media. The only reasons to be on Facebook in the middle of the day are that you work for Facebook, you have social media marketer in your job title, you’re an entrepreneur trying to get customers.
Too much TV
Too much sleep
Too much privilege
Too much formal education
Too much alcohol, sex, drugs, gambling, and other things that can lead to addictions. Ignoring negative patterns and running away or sweeping stuff under the rug
Not…
Not defining success for yourself
Not feeding your mind (i.e. reading)
Not finding mentors
Not protecting your time and setting boundaries
Not saying no
Not taking risks
Not forgiving
Not enough stillness
Not enough sleep
Not following through and following up
Not burning boats and committing
Not letting go
Mistaken & Out Of Focus
Mistaking your wants for needs
Mistaking time management for energy management
Mistaking your paycheck as income. It’s revenues. Income is what’s left at the end of the month.
Mistaking buying a home with owning a home
Focusing on time in school vs. time on developing skills
Focusing on security over freedom
Seeking comfort over challenge
Focusing in the destination more than the journey
Eating only for taste and not energy
Seeking happiness instead of being it
Believing in luck instead of creating it
Relationships
Blaming others for who you are and where you are
Only valuing people “above” you (ie executives and not janitors)
Only reaching out when you need something
Only surrounding yourself with people who think just like you
Burning bridges
Replacing your dreams with your kids’ dreams instead of finding a way to do both
Seeking love before loving yourself
Unwillingness to trust others
Money
Credit card debt
Failing to define rich with an actual number
A 30-year mortgage on a single family home
Poor money management
Allowing your cost of living to rise with your income
Focusing on salary over cash flow
Relying on only one source of income
Too much student debt—especially from grad school without a clear way to get a return on your investment
Trying save your way to wealth instead of create it
Career
Getting great at something you hate
Not managing your employer
Not being willing to quit
Choosing a traditional career path because it “safe” and they recruited on-campus
Letting what you do define who you are instead of who you are defining what you do
Trying to be jack of all trades and thus master none
Being clearer about what you don’t want than what you do want
Backwards Thinking
Thinking too small
Only focusing on the positive
Only focusing on the negative
Caring what others think too much
Thinking that other people are thinking about you. They aren’t.
Playing the victim
Focusing on the past too much
Focusing on the future too much
Always wanting to be somewhere else
Self-Doubt
People pleasing. Waiting for or seeking others’ approval
The need for too much certainty
Indecisiveness
Trying to be someone else
Comparing yourself to others
Dumbing down for others
Being too concerned with what other people are doing
Looking for and following formulas. There are none.
Ego
Not listening to your true self, intuition, or wisdom
Impatience and entitlement. Wanting it to happen when you want it, how you want it.
Thinking you know it all. Not asking for help. Trying to do it all on your own.
Planning too much. Trying to control outcomes. Being controlling.
Seeking to take more than you give
Believing in the law of scarcity and that life is a zero-sum game
Not self evaluating. Lying to yourself and others
Trying to have the right answer vs. the right question
Trying to check off the boxes as quickly as possible
Not being grateful
Wanting everything and everyone else to change without you having to change
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