Valentine’s Day is this week and many couples will celebrate their love for one another. I’m grateful to be married to an amazing woman and I can’t wait to honor her. We just got married in 2012 and so we’re figuring things out like most newlyweds (and oldy weds).
One marriage is enough, but many people are in two marriages—with their partner and their employer. And if you’re not married yet, it’s likely that at some point you will be unless you never get married or never get a job. But I don’t know too many people who fit into that category.
I’ll be honest with you. I’ve struggled with which marriage comes first in my life. Before I met my wife, I was a workaholic. I still am. I admit it. My workday had/has no end and I worked/work 7 days a week. I dedicated all of my time and energy to building and sustaining my work. Even though I love what I do that doesn’t make it alright.
But I love my wife more than my work. She also works hard and is self-employed. So I’m in the process of making some tough choices that put her first because I want to be with her more. In fact, I recently had to say no to a speaking opportunity so that I didn’t miss an important family event. I made that call happily. I was proud because it was one of the first times that I put my invaluable wife over a valuable opportunity. My side chick (my work) was trying to seduce me with money and cause friction at home with my wife. Not this time. My honey comes before money.
You’re in an open relationship.
We treat our relationships with our employers like a marriage, when the reality is that IT IS NOT A MARRIAGE—there is no contractual commitment to be together forever. Many of us have a love hate relationship with our work. On one hand it gives us something we want—money, power, responsibility, and meaning. And on the other hand it takes away from other important things like family and freedom.
There is no document that both you and your employer signed that states that they will support you for life. And guess what, they shouldn’t have to. Like relationships, economies go up and down and therefore companies do as well. It’s almost impossible to guarantee employment for life. There are only a few companies in the world such as SAS that have committed to lifetime employment. Most people haven’t even read their original employment contract and if they have, they don’t know where it is today. The 40-40 Club is closed. The idea of working for one company 40 hours a week for 40 years is dead.
On the flip side, let’s keep it real. If you got courted by a similar company, for a similar roles, in the same city, for more money, would you leave your job right now? For most people, the answer is “Hell yeah.” So if there is no commitment on our side, the employee-side, why should a company commit to us for life.
So here are 7 ways you should start cheating on your job this Valentine’s Day.
1. Revisit Your Pre-Nup Every 3-5 Years
Show me one LinkedIn profile that is so short that you don’t have to scroll down. There aren’t many because we all change jobs several times. Most of us don’t marry our employers—we date our employers. We are expected to have several jobs at several companies over the course of our careers.
The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that the typical American worker’s tenure with his or her current employer was 3.8 years in 1996, 3.5 years in 2000 and 4.1 years in 2008. Marriott makes it’s employees reapply for their job every 5 years. Rather than assuming the relationship will last forever, this creates a timeline for both parties to review the relationship.
And don’t let older people who are starting to lose their memory fool you and pretend like they worked at one company forever. As they got older they likely became more risk averse and that’s why they’ve been holding on for 15+ years at their current employer. The BLS also reports that people born between 1957 and 1964 held an average of 11 jobs from ages 18 to 44. On average, men held 11.4 jobs and women held 10.7 jobs. 25% percent held 15 jobs or more, while 12% held four jobs or less.
2. Always Be Upgrading Your Resume
Most people only update their resume when they are ready to change jobs just like most people start going to the gym when they are ready to find that new special someone. When we’re in the relationship, we tend to let it all deteriorate. And then the relationship ends and we look and feel our worst. That’s how jobs go and that’s one of the main reasons why skilled people stay unemployed for so long—they were deteriorating rather than developing in their current relationship.
You should always be trying to add another bullet to your resume or portfolio using a Resume 2.0. Your resume is not about your responsibilities—it’s about your results. If you want to be successful in work and life, you have to make other people successful. It’s that simple.
3. Leave Work At Work
When you don’t leave work at work, you bring it home, and now you’re cheating on your partner with your employer. I’m guilty of it, but I’m working on it. In a lot of ways, blue collar workers have it better than white collar workers. When they leave work, their “broom” stays at work and doesn’t bother them until they arrive the next morning. For white collar workers who use their heads more than their hands, our smart phones and email follow us wherever we go. Therefore, our work follows us wherever we go too. Unless we stop it.
There is an assumption that more time at work means more work is getting done. That’s often not the case. Parkinson’s Law says that work expands to fill space and time. So if I give you 60 minutes to take a 30 minute test, you’ll take 60 minutes. But if I give you 30 minutes to take the same test, you’ll complete it in 30 minutes without any impact on your results. That’s what we do at work. If we had a real stop time and we saw a finish line, we would be more productive during the day.
4. Date Your Company’s Competitors
This is fair game in the dating world and the corporate world. Sure. I would be mad if my arch enemy stole my girl from me. But in Corporate America, it happens every day. That’s why I encourage people to interview at least once a year even if they have no intention of leaving their current job. It’s a way of just seeing what’s out there.
In 2010, The New York Times noted in its feature on Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg that Facebook has poached some 200 workers from Google. That includes Sandberg, who ran online sales for Google. Glen Kelman over at the Refin blog found that of the 2,174 current Facebook employees with a LinkedIn profile, 378 cited Google in their work history, or nearly 1 in 5.
5. Date Your Company’s Clients
In the dating world, this would be totally out of bounds. But I’ve seen it among my friends…back stabbers. LOL. I would probably be mad if one of my good friends started dating my ex-girl after we broke up. But after awhile, I would say to myself, at least two good people I know are together.
At first, your boss might be mad, but now they have an insider at this other company which will likely make the relationship between the two businesses last longer. In fact, some consulting companies like McKinsey, strategically place (rather than poach) their alumni in leadership positions at companies they want to have a long-term business relationships with.
6. Always Have A Side Hustle
You’re not married to your employer, so it’s not cheating if you’re getting it (income) from elsewhere. A lot of people are fearful of having a side hustle and getting caught by their employer. Well guess what…how do you think most businesses are started? As a side hustle—not in a garage by some college dropouts.
If you feel yucky about being polygamous with your money, look at it this way. There are probably people at your job who run marathons right? They have to get up early to run, they may run at lunch, they run in evening and/or they run on weekends. Well instead of running a marathon, you run a business. That’s it. They aren’t cheating on the job because they are dedicating valuable energy to something they are passionate about, so neither are you. You just profit from your passion while they perspire.
7. Grow or Go
It’s not you…or them. Sometimes we outgrow our cubicles and companies. Period. Once a company gets big—which is a good thing because it means that it was creating jobs—it becomes harder to grow and innovate because of bureaucracy and politics. But you, the individual employee, the army of one, can still be nimble and navigate your company, your industry, or the economy as a whole. Like relationships, sometimes things grow together and sometimes they grow apart. Either way, it’s still growth.
Ways You Shouldn’t Cheat On Your Job
Cheating on your job is a metaphor for thinking about your career independently of your job. I DO NOT mean it literally. Therefore, avoid cheating by not doing the following:
– Don’t steal supplies (paper, pens, ink, etc).
– Don’t spend time on personal email, personal calls, or social media.
– Don’t illegally use insider information or intellectual property for your gain.
– Don’t show up late or leave early.
– Don’t lie and say you’re working from home when you’re really just chilling.
– Don’t take extra long lunch breaks.
– Don’t apply for another job while at your current job.
– Don’t use petty cash or the business expense card improperly.
Conclusion
Career change has and will always be around whether it is caused by the economy, dissatisfaction, growth, or downsizing. The old days of employers trying to woo us with more and more pay and benefits are gone. It’s not about keeping an employee forever. It’s about both parties getting the most out of the relationship while they are together.
The contingent on-demand workforce is on the rise, meaning that employers can hire who they want, when they need them, for short periods based on their business needs. As an entrepreneur, I’m not against this. I use Fiverr.com all of the time for small projects. Knowing that, it’s on us to not get lazy, stay sharp, and keep building our track record through high performance and creating radical results so that wherever we go, our reputation precedes us.
If you’re afraid to cheat or even share this post, we can work on that together.
Hustle smarter + D.R.E.A.M. awake!
